Each year in the Draft Guide I write something funny, or at least I attempt to be humorous. Last year I wrote “Don’t Bash the Stash” which famously closed thusly.

“So next time you're in a slump at work or the ladies aren't paying you any mind at the local pub or club it may not be your clothes, personality or paycheck. It might just be that you don’t have a Brimley, Yosemite, Grass Grin, Mouser or Muzzy on your upper lip.”

This season I couldn’t come up with anything funny.

I also couldn’t come up with anything original so I basically decided to regurgitate something else I wrote last year in “Always Ask the Oracle.”

According to the Oxford Dictionary, an oracle is a priest or priestess who acts as a medium through whom advice or prophecy comes from the gods. 

I'm arrogant.
I'm flippant.
I'm irreverent.

I'm Ray Flowers and my nickname is the Oracle. 

 

I read this every time I get torn down in an email or on Twitter, something that happens way more frequently than you would think.

I’m not the smartest guy ever.

I’m not actually able to divine anything from any form of heaven.

I’m only mildly interesting.

I get it.

At the same time I work as hard as anyone.

I’ve been doing fantasy sports for 15 years full time. There can’t be 100 people who can also make that claim. Can there? Maybe 250. Can’t be more than that.

I’m on the radio six days a week with only Saturday off (Sirius210, XM87 – SiriusXM Fantasy Sports Radio).

I eat, drink and sleep – well I don’t sleep much – fantasy sports. I drink a lot of booze too. I didn’t use to, but I’ve felt my life slalom downhill since I turned 35. There’s really not much to look forward to some days other than some pocket booze, a bottle of Bailey’s or a reviewing of “WolfCop” to keep me going. If you haven’t seen “WolfCop” your life isn’t complete. He’s a dirty cop, who’s an alcoholic, and he becomes a werewolf. I drink, we established that, the werewolf was always my favorite classic Monster (hello Lon Chaney Jr.), and for those of you that don’t know, I do have a minor in Administration of Justice because at one point I wanted to be in law enforcement. Coincidence?

The fact is I try my best to be there for my fans. You are all the reason I’ve been able to do this for 15 years. I can’t promise that I will be available 24 hours a day, I do sleep a little bit, but I’m around an awful lot, so much that some people think I’m an android or that I might have an identical twin that no one knows about.

Frequently on Fridays we host an hour live advice chat room, and we’re always thinking about adding more options for you all to interact with us. Of course, you can also find me on Twitter (@Baseballguys) as well.

I know you will ask others for fantasy advice, there are plenty of men and women out there who can offer solid support with whatever question you have (many of those fellas work for Fantasy Alarm, and you can find all their Twitter accounts in the Contributors piece). We’re all here to help you.

So say hello, drop us a note, and we will do what we can to help make your 2016 fantasy baseball experience the best one yet.