I’ll spare you the overplayed “sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays” line from Office Space, but as I sit here and wipe the crusties out of my eyes and start looking at the various waiver reports that processed overnight, I can’t help but feel like I’ve been run over by a fantasy truck. I guess that’s what the whole Morning Buzz concept is all about. A little hair of the dog to get you straight again? You made your claims, for better or for worse, went to bed and now you’ve got to look at the aftermath – who did what, which guys did you win, what were you thinking when you made that claim and what the heck the landscape of the league looks like afterwards.
So let’s grab that garbage bag, some paper towels and some cleaning solvent and try to piece together what happened at Club FAAB last night.
Wade Miley, P BAL – OMG! Please tell me I did not wake up next to this guy this morning. If you want to look at the quintessential fantasy beer-goggling moment, it was when you put in a bid to lock this knucklehead down on your roster. Forget about what he’s doing right now, look at his statistical trends over the last three years. They’re awful. I even won a bet with Kyle Elfrink of SiriusXM because he was touting this clown and I said, once he landed with the Orioles, that his numbers in Baltimore would make the team wish they had two Ubaldo Jimenez instead. His 6.17 ERA and 1.57 WHIP over 11 starts for the O’s says it all. If you woke up next to him this morning, just sneak out of the house. Don’t leave a note or anything. Just get out.
Amir Garrett, P CIN – OK, so not bad. You aimed your sights pretty high and were likely the envy of the rest of the league when the Cincinnati rookie end up on your squad this morning. You also probably spent a fortune on drinks for him the night before. Still, there’s definitely a lot of potential and definitely some upside. You might even be thinking about a long-term relationship here. Just go into it with your eyes open. Hitters will make adjustments and it’s up to Garrett to make his own counter-adjustments as well. If he can, well, you two might be together for a while. Maybe you even end up giving him a drawer. But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s try him out on a few dates first. He’s facing the Brewers tonight in hitter-friendly Miller Park and then faces the Cardinals later in the week. If he makes it through these starts, you may want to consider letting him meet your friends, but don’t tell them just yet. You don’t want to jinx it.
Taylor Motter, SS SEA – Not only can you not believe he showed up to the party, but you’re in shock even more that he went home with someone. Motter had appeal two weeks ago when Jean Segura first got hurt, but now with the Mariners starting shortstop ready to return this week, what are they going to do, not play him? Puh-leeeze! Motter and his bad-boy Kid Rock-like hairstyle dazzled you with some flashy performances, but now that you’ve locked into a relationship with him, he’s going to reveal his couch potato true colors. He’s not hitting you game-winning RBI doubles every night. He’s not showing up as the life of the party anymore. He’s sitting at home in sweatpants telling you that he’d rather stay in, order a pizza and binge watch something on Netflix. There’s no excitement. There’s no joie-de-vivre. He’s just a back-up who had a shining moment in the sun for a week and now will grace your bench until the next flavor of the week comes along.
Trevor Rosenthal, RP STL – Uh oh. You and your buddy were sitting there pointing out potential saves you were spying from across the room and you finally worked up the courage to walk over there and land yourself a potential closer. Except you walked over to the wrong guy! Your buddy was pointing to the Korean guy and you thought he meant that kid from Missouri next to him. But didn’t that guy used to get saves? What’s he doing here? He’s like the college guy who comes back every break and hits all the local high school parties. You think he’s a potential catch but then you realize everyone, including his manager, has moved on from him. The star of yester-year is trying to re-live his glory days, but Seung-Hwan Oh is breaking all of his records and isn’t going to step aside so that fantasy owners can embrace history. Oh notched five saves last week, so who the heck still thinks Rosenthal is even worth a speculative add? Time moves forward, people. Not backwards. Look ahead and realize that Rosenthal is a name of the past.
Jordan Montgomery, SP NYY – Who’s this tall drink of water standing all big and brazen on the mound at Yankee Stadium? Ooooooh! And a lefty too! Daaaaaamn! Back to back quality starts, a decent strikeout rate, good but not great command…there’s some real potential here. Now, I’m certainly not ready to commit, but I laid the foundation earlier and have established the relationship, at least on the friend level. Can we take it another step further? Possibly. He’s not as flashy a commodity as Garrett is, but that only means it didn’t cost you an arm and a leg to woo him from other potential suitors. Maybe you guys hook up for a little while, find out you’re better as friends and set him up with a buddy of yours as your trade deadline approaches. You’ll learn his limitations as you get to know each other a little better, but just be careful you don’t fall in love too quickly and get too attached.
Matt Davidson, 3B CHW – Ever hear the expression “good from afar but far from good?” On the surface, those three home runs, 10 RBI and .324 batting average look great, but once you look a little closer and spy that lock of hair growing out of that chin mole known as a 47-percent strikeout rate, you’re starting to re-think your decision. The .524 BABIP perfume smells real nice, but step in a little closer at some point and realize it’s just masking the odor of some really bad breath most commonly found in batters who sport a .250 or lower average. There is just no way this level is being sustained and once you get Davidson onto your roster and wipe away all the make-up hiding his true blemishes, you’ll realize that you may have made a mistake in judgment.
Your friends have warned you in the past, and by friends, I mean me. Looking at surface numbers will only take you so far. If you don’t investigate past statistical trends or the current circumstances of the team, you are doing your fantasy team a great disservice. Be smart about how you handle the waiver wire. Stop chasing yesterday’s numbers. If you don’t legitimately see potential moving forward, then you shouldn’t be spending your waiver priority or FAAB dollars.