Thank you 49ers!!!!!!! My favorite team came through for me this past Sunday, and it will be that guy to the left, Michael Stein, who will be getting a pedicure as a result of the San Francisco 49ers ousting the New York Giants in a hotly contested battle! It was close right to the end as the Giants drove to tie the game, but a batted pass means that Stein's tootsies will have to be painted hot pink by an Asian woman before too long, while Hallam revels in the victory and the good chance that his team will carry the two seed in the NFC.
As for the rest of the Parlay competitors, Jonesy is once again nipping on Hallam's heels as someone tries to take down the defending champ for the first time in a long time. Hallam has a similar streak going right now like the Green Bay Packers as he has been in first place since the middle of last year. But it is just a matter of time before Fantasy Alarm's resident jokester takes over the lead. Don't look now, but the smallest competitor (nope, not Jonesy) is making a charge towards the top of the standings. Jeff's son Xander has passed dear old Dad and is now just two games out of second place as he had another 3-2 week and is five games over the .500 mark. The little bastard is starting to make us all look bad, and I think it is time that we hide his ba-ba and his binky and then we will see how good he picks games! Despite losing the pedicure bet, Stein has worked his way out of the basement and is percentage points in front of Mans, who has been collapsing the past four or five weeks. These two are still not far out of first place, so as we start to come down the stretch, anything is still possible. The Parlay is still completely up for grabs so be sure you come back every week to see how the Fumbling Fivesome does and who will take home the trophy.
After ten weeks here are the current standings with last week's results in parenthesis:
Hallam: 29-20-1 (2-3)
Jonesy: 28-19-3 (3-2)
Xander: 26-21-3 (3-2)
Stein: 22-23-5 (3-2)
Mans: 22-24-4 (2-3)
New England Patriots (-14) vs. Kansas City Chiefs – I never give up this many points in any game but I have zero confidence in Tyler Palko or anybody else on the Chiefs come to think of it.
Green Bay Packers (-14) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaenners – When in Rome…take another two touchdown favorite, right? All I know is Aaron Rodgers cannot be stopped while Josh Freeman can’t help himself.
Minnesota Vikings (-1) vs. Oakland Raiders – I don’t trust the Raiders traveling to Minnesota this week. I think that Christian Ponder will have his best game to date and AP will return to form as well.
St. Louis Rams (-3) vs. Seattle Seahawks – These are some real tough games this week but in the end I am feeling that the Rams will hold home court and defeat the Seahawks. The Seahawks have suffered a few major injuries the past two weeks and will likely be out of sorts in St. Louis this week.
San Diego (+3.5) at Chicago Bears – This seems like a trap game for the Bears this week. The Chargers are depleted but do have a lot of weapons on offense that could give the Bears secondary fits.
Baltimore Ravens (-7) vs. Cincinnati Bengals -- I love the story of the Bengals this season. Their QB and their top wide receiver split town and somehow, someway they are near the top of their division as we approach Thanksgiving. But let's be honest folks, this team is not quite ready for Prime Time. A.J. Green has a bum wheel after his last touchdown catch and the Ravens' defense should swarm Andy Dalton. I like the Bengals, but not this week as the Ravens should roll.
Oakland Raiders (pk) at Minnesota Vikings -- Did the oddsmakers miss the thrashing that the Vikings took at the hands of the Packers last Monday night? Now, I'm not saying the Raiders are anywhere near as good as Green Bay, but what I am saying is that the Vikings are bad. Carson Palmer looks like he is gaining some sort of comfort with the Raiders and seems to find a different favorite target every week. Christian Ponder is just looking for anyone semi-reliable to throw to. Take the Raiders in a pick 'em.
Green Bay Packers (-14) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers -- I might have been willing to give thirty points here as the Packers are absolutely rolling and the Buccaneers......well, the Bucs just suck. Josh Freeman doesn't look anything like the guy we saw last year and LaGarrette Blount is having trouble staying healthy. This just seems like an absolute beating waiting to happen, and on Sunday, the beatdown should commence.
Dallas Cowboys (-7) at Washington Redskins -- I rarely will take a team favored on the road by a touchdown, but as long as the Redskins are going with Rex Grossman at quarterback and Mike Shanahan is deciding to play the worst guy on the team at running back, I just can't bring myself to pick them. I just don't know how they are going to score points. Not to mention Tony Romo is on fire right now and Laurent Robinson looks like Jerry Rice. The Cowpokes should scalp the 'Skins.
New York Giants (-4.5) vs. Philadelphia Eagles -- Will Michael Vick play, will he not play, does it really matter? The Giants' ferocious pass rush is going to cause havoc on the Eagles' quarterback, and should cause them to make mistakes. I am a little worried about LeSean McCoy having a huge game as he always does, but right now Eli Manning is in a great groove and I see the Giants winning this one by ten, so the 4.5 was no problem to lay.
Editor's Note: Received this email from Jonesy early Thursday evening: "I dont know what the line is tonight
but I just wanna make sure I get the JETS in as one of my picks this week. Im taking the Jets and lay whatevetr points they're laying..." (good thing he got this to me in time lol)
Well I blew that thursday game - can't believe the Jets offense was that freakin poor. Yikes.
That means I MUST go 4-0 with these next pics and I WILL! Let's get to it:
Chicago Bears (-3.5) vs. San Diego Chargers -- Chargers O-line is done. I think they're starting like 2 -3 dudes from the practice squad this week. What does that mean? The Bears D is gonna do what they did last week. Take the Bears.
Jacksonville Jaguars (+1) at Cleveland Browns -- You could say these teams are a bit similar. But the Jags have a slightly better D and they have the only player that can be started in fantasy out of this game and that's MJD. I think that's all they need to win by a FG. Take the Jags.
Green Bay Packers (-14) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers -- I've seen the line at 14.5 as well which is a little trickier but I think you can't lose with this 14 pts. Green Bay has beaten most of their opponents by 2 TDs seemingly with their eyes closed. This is gonna be one of those games where Aaron Rodgers leaves in the fourth quarter and we see that Matt Flynn character in garbage time.
New England Patriots (-15) vs. Kansas City Chiefs -- Another big line I'm taking with the hopes that the Pats will slaughter KC at home. Who is this Tyler Palko guy anyway? Oh, he's gonna get it! Take the Pats!
Baltimore Ravens (-6.5) vs. Cincinnati Bengals – Real risky game here but the 17 month old young is confident in the Ravens beating up on the Cincinnati Bengals this week.
Dallas Cowboys (-7) at Washington Redskins – Has Tony Romo finally figured it out or is this going to be just another major disappointment for the Redskins?
Detroit Lions (-7) vs. Carolina Panthers – I think the Panthers have a legitimate chance to keep this one real close but Xander is defiant in
Oakland Raiders (+2) at Minnesota Vikings – Xander thinks that the Raiders will go into Minnesota and whoop up on the purple people eaters. I can’t tell if his dislike for the Vikings is for football reasons or if he’s projecting his hatred for Barney the dinosaur onto them.
Jacksonville Jaguars (+1) at Cleveland Browns – Why anyone would have any sort of interest in this game is beyond me. But to the 1 year old boy, it’s pick #5 in this weeks 5 team parlay.
New York Jets (+5.5) over Denver Broncos -- Rex Ryan is the antichrist of the NFL and Tim Tebow is like Jesus. I smell a holy war in this epic battle of overrated versus suck. Prediction: NY Jets 27 Denver 13.
Dallas Cowboys (-7.5) over Washington Redskins -- These fierce NFC East rivals square off going in opposite directions. The Cowboys are red hot and only one game out of 1st place in the division. The Redskins have gone back to Rex Grossman. Enough said. Prediction: Dallas 30 Washington 14
Philadelphia Eagles (+5.5) over New York Giants -- All signs are pointing to the Giants beating the so-called Dream Team. But my Spidey senses are telling me the Giants are heading towards a freefall regardless of whether Michael Vick plays. Prediction: Philadelphia 34 NY Giants 24
Baltimore Ravens (-6.5) over Cincinnati Bengals -- The Ravens are coming off a terrible loss to Seattle and will take their frustrations out against the surprising Bengals. Cincinnati is heading in the right direction but they aren’t good enough yet to match up with Baltimore. Prediction: Baltimore 20 Cincinnati 10
Miami Dolphins (-2) over Buffalo Bills -- The Bills are remembering quickly that they are the Bills. Miami has won a few games now and seem to have figured out how to use Reggie Bush. On a side note, I always know how to use bush. Prediction: Miami 23 Buffalo 20
Want to know a little bit more about each participant? Really? You do? Why? Well, in that case, we profile each competitor.
Michael Stein of Fantasy Judgment is the Supreme Court Justice of the Fantasy Football world. Stein is the man to go to if you have any sort of issue in your fantasy football league. Fantasy Judgment is the site you need if you have a rogue commissioner who is pulling things over on your league, a trade that just seems to be really fishy, or any other kind of shenanigans that can take a good fantasy league and make it turn badly. Not to mention the fine work that he does for us here at Fantasy Alarm. Michael Stein fared quite well for himself last year in his first foray into the Five Game Parlay as he came in second place, not far behind the championship. Even with that said, Stein picks like he has had a lobotomy, so be careful before you put any of your hard earned money on any selections that he makes!
Jonesy will be bringing the noise and the comedy flavor to the Five Game Parlay as Fantasy Alarm's resident comedian and an executive producer of The Fantasy Alarm Show. Jonesy is responsible for many of your favorite bits and songs on The Fantasy Alarm Show such as the Burress Song, "Oh, Manny!" and "80 Yards and a TD" about Ryan Grant, as well as Deep Fantasy Thoughts. Jonesy was a close third in last year's competition and was in it right to the end. He is out to show that he is more than just a pretty face, I mean just a funny face, I mean wait. Well, he's out to show he knows his football. I'm not sure if he does or not, but he will at least make you laugh along the way.
Jeff Mans is one half of the duo that comprises The Fantasy Alarm Show, and yes he is the one that talks the most. Mans has been playing fantasy football for nearly 15 years, and is known to throw a buck or two on a football game now and then. He was the winner of the inaugural Five Game Parlay, but threw up all over himself last year as he came in a distant last place. Jeff is looking to turn his fortunes around in 2011 and reclaim the title that he feels is rightfully his. Will the frosted tips on his hair and his wacky chest pubes help him pick games and lead him back to glory? Only time will tell!
Jeff's one year old son Xander Mans joins the crew for the first time this year as he has said that he is tired of hanging around his mom and two sisters and needs to start bonding with the guys! However, Xander is also a smart young man as he has already figured out what a deadbeat his poor father is. I will be calling the young lad each week to make his picks and will be reporting on what he tells me here in this article. In our first talk he has told me that he will squash the four of us like Cheerios between his teeth and will pee in the face of anyone who thinks they can pick better than he. A confident young man, Xander is the darkhorse to win the whole competition.
Ryan Hallam makes up the second part of The Fantasy Alarm Show, as he is the voice of reason, sensibility, and of course, has all of the looks, wit, and charm. Hallam pulled the big turnaround in Year Two of the Parlay and led the competition from wire to wire. Throughout his life he has watched football, but for some reason picking games against the spread was never his strong suit. But things have changed for Ryan in the past year to eighteen months and all of a sudden the tide has swung the momentum in his favor. Look for Hallam to continue his dominance and repeat as champion of the Five Game Parlay! Oh, did I mention he was the smart and good looking one out of the group too? Just checkin'.
Listen to The Fantasy Alarm Show Saturday from 5:00 PM to 8:00 PM EST and Sunday from 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM EST on SiriusXM Fantasy Sports Radio XM channel 87/Sirius 210.